I believe dating in this century is inexplicably more relaxed; however, there is so much more obstacles for everyone. I love the word inexplicably because it is incapable of being explained, interpreted, or accounted. For example, dating is a term over-embellished. You go to a night club you get on the dance floor and buss a move in front of a girl she doesn’t leave your dating. You’re at the mall you ask a woman for directions to a lingerie store, and she says come along I’ll show you. We precede to the lingerie store your eyes notice another babe walking towards you. The woman you’re with you don’t even know her name, and she gives the other girl a hands-off we dating look. I’m Courtney, and she looks at me and says oh. Not another word we get to the lingerie shop, and she heads to the flannel PJ expecting you to follow. On your right are the Teddies and mesh and baby dolls skimpy nighties and skimpiest panties. I decided to tag along to the PJ section. I get back into dating mode, and I’m steering at the risky exotic panties. Licking my lips glean over her body thinking to myself, I don’t know you, I buy a few panties.
What in the world came over me I blurt out I wonder if they have edible panties. She gives me this teacher look and says the present for a girlfriend? I come back with it’s for a friend, and I guess it might be for me too. Women are smart, and I’m 100% certain this one was She-Devil. She says you just met her and she’s model, ballerina, stripper or cop. I stumped don’t how to answer. Then she says probably a policewoman or a stripper you’ll need handcuffs sorry got to go now. I wave and say thank you. I’m looking at all the trashy stuff with an occasional stop at the flannel nightgowns. I take the pyjama suit off the hook feeling the texture like I’m Karl Lagerfeld. I’m in my comfort zone. A pretty young Asian girl no more than seventeen approaches me and says may I help you, sir.
I state to her I need bright panties skimpiest; teddies red-orange corsets and those things that look like tape around your legs with the clips. Oh yes! Victoria secret as gone away from bright colours and the classic look. Trying not to look like a total perve I ask about edible panties pineapple or strawberry banana flavour. An older woman who also works at the store comes overhears the conversation and says we stopped carrying those. The Asian salesgirl gives her he’s my friend we are dating look. The tour of the shop begins. Within 15 minutes, we have four other female teen shoppers discussing the outfits. One of the girls is a blonde, and she nudges up to me and says. Dump the pyjamas you need a kimono and panties and bras. 
I hand over pyjamas to store clerk and precede to follow the gang to the Kimono. I’m getting scared because the other two girls who look like twelve and thirteen begin to check me out. One of them says I need some thongs. The older one she is Spanish looks at me and says how old you are? Ugh! Twenty-eight. I feel the horns growing the sales girl gets back into it’s my boyfriend character. She is pulling out all kinds of pieces. I still think this must be a scam to catch some sexual predator and I get back into my mature complex. Yeah, I don’t think she’ll like these colours. I see a purse knapsack. We are looking at the purses, and the little brats moms come out of nowhere, and they take are like sorry we got to go. OK, see you in a couple of years a hint of non-violent sexual overtone. We end up purchasing the knapsack purse. I explain to the girl its a present for a friend I just met. I got the panties and babydolls from La Senza. I’m leaving the lingerie shop, and I hear voices never saying you go back in there again. A third eye!
PART TWO. HOW TO DATE AN EXOTIC DANCER
My polaroid A400 text message says when you are coming back. My reply to the text is the end of the week, and I got you some nice stuff. The girl I’m talking about is a stunning blonde no more than 24. In reality, twenty-one. An exotic dancer, most people, say stripper. We met outside a strip bar. The night we met my cousin Earl from England came down, my friend Arsh and Sirena and Jimmy who introduced us to the dancer whom I call She-Devil. Exotic dancers have a chance to meet thousands of guys with a lot of money. The particular club had a variety of interesting beautiful women. It was over the top good entertainment-wise. By the secound night, I had she-devil number. Another lady I have fond memories of is a woman lets give her the name Priceless Pussy. The priceless pussy name will change to she-devil number 2 later in the script.
To date an exotic dancer or any woman you must dress cute and wear expensive cologne mixed in with discount very nice fragrances from Shoppers Drugmart. A beautiful pair of shoes or running shoes are essential. It’s a good idea to become regular and spend some money. Don’t forget to wear clean underwear and shower. Another tactic is to be open-minded. It’s vital to offer the benefit of the doubt to the woman. Never be so presumptuous to think they are strippers and have no other way to make money. Many exotic dancers work to pay way through school, support a single-parent household, or they may have encountered imaginable terrible circumstances. Not every girl at six says I’m going to be an exotic dancer. Its a plus not to be judgemental. That said all are in it for money. 
If you’re serious about wanting the company of a dancer outside the club. You should consider meeting a dancer as a customer who wants to fill out fantasies with lap dances. Be careful, make sure these fantasies don’t come off as a police investigation. The woman of choice is aware she is in a position to be a counsellor to your problems and insecurities. For example, if you have the hots for your thirteen-year-old neighbour’s daughter, who just started high school. Tell the woman I like women in catholic school skirts. I have the hots for a girl starting university she attended the local high school in the area, and now she has grown I’m getting these fantasies. The other option is to buy her drink and get into small talk. You cannot be too personal because strippers get a lot of attention and admiration, although the emphasis from clientele is purely sexual. Don’t go into a relationship with a stripper thinking you can ‘change’ her or expect her to get another job. Either accept that she strips or find someone who doesn’t.
Another essential aspect of success is finding your club and understanding the types of dancers such as gold diggers, hot veterans, too young; I’m too sexy for myself girl, and part-timers. Some dancers prefer the business professionals, the gangsta type, a well-paid factory worker or all rolled into one. The exotic dancers in the category of gangsta types could be a drag. They have countless others we won’t mention. So now you ask why the gangsta type such a drag? This woman is addicted to the bad boy, guns, rap music, pimp or straight out of jail. The business professional like the pretty boy could come across as a player. The blue-collar worker sometimes makes the best customers because they try to impress and spend more money than they can afford.
You know you’re in with a stripper when she reveals some aspect of her work such as who the pimps are, drug dealers, nice guy, big player money man and sketchy creep. That said, most strippers hang with a particular group for protection. Therefore the bad guys will always be around the club. Understand a piece of ass maybe all you can get, or friends mode if your average looking guy with some confidence go before they get to the club and buy them a drink chill before the shows start. You can talk about anything books, films, music your work, what she likes to do on a night off, ask her days off, compliment their outfits, hairstyle, nails, and shoes. It is not a green light when you are praising gawking at tits boobs or ass. If you continue to do this, you will be steered into the customer and have to pay significant cash for some dances.
Now you’re placed into a category of trust by the dancer. You are not the pervert who frequents the bar to get his hands on a piece of ass he usually can only imagine from playboy magazines or pornographic movies. By this time in the process, the woman I’ve met as put me into her trust category.
A feeling of trust incorporates giving you her phone number, allowing you to drive her home for coffee or a late-night meal. Dancers are experts in knowing late-night restaurants, coffee shops or an exclusive after hour hang out. We have known each other for a few days, and I’m in the position as potential boyfriend which could be precarious or dangerous. Least to say its a win situation because your seat belts buckled and your friendship elevated. You can talk about music, politics, history and culture. Always give a woman a chance to show her views or teach you or point of view. I also suggest when the club gets busy, this is your cue to leave or allow her to mingle with her client’s potential new customers for her to make her money. During my discussion with the girl we call she-devil, I told her about my vacation and asked her if she wanted a gift.
Soon after she left me with friends to make her rounds occasionally coming back to share a drink or conversation. As of now, you all know I chose lingerie as my gift, and from the language of the article, She-Devil has placed me into the category as a backup booty call, potential boyfriend, driver, friend, an easy target to get drinks and money or believe it or not a douche bag. The next chapter gets into how I messed things up.
I MESSED UP! DOUCHE BAG.
I messed up because I met someone cunning, beautiful, smart, yet still cautious of your attention. In a nutshell, men and women from all sectors of culture, occupation and economic status have insecurities. Dancers have a new admirer or hater every single night she walks into a bar. Moreover, she does not know you inside out, although she may believe so. It is not every client who treats a woman with respect. Men who frequent strip bars go into the establishment with the notion any female in the establishment is a slut. My conclusion with regards to insecurities evolves from stories women and men have divulged to me. 
The club got busy, and I chose to let her do the thing instead of leaving — one of the mistakes I regret. A dancer once told me how much she loves her man. However, the relationship is taking its toll because of giving in to the pressure of a customer wanting a blow job for a ridiculously high price or 5000 for sex. These clients become VIP, regular customers. Therefore, any strikingly beautiful woman can see herself making 60000 to 250000 per year. The dancer told me that anytime she performed a sex act, she gives her man 1000 or buys him something expensive. One dancer purchased a sports car for her boyfriend. He questioned her, and she finally confessed he was heartbroken, but the relationship continued for another three years. If you’re her man, you should consider staying out of the establishment. A boyfriend at a place of work makes the woman aware of her job and the tensions it might cause in the relationship. There is always a dark cloud evoking negative vibes.
Furthermore, nobody can strip without drinking, which can lead to marijuana use, cocaine, heroin, Percocet or any other hallucinogen. To maintain sanity, exotic dancers naturally develop multiple personalities for any situation. Hence the various names to hide her real name and personality.
I stayed, and other girls would come and talk and every now then other women would hit on you for dances. Your girl whose gauging what category to place you is making a decision based on who runs on you. I known women to send friends to check you out. You can be unknowingly be placed into a friend, the taxi, just the guy who is buying me drinks or worst sleave ball client pretending to be a nice guy. What the other women go back and say is beyond this text. I know I was placed to number one contender one night her boyfriend came in and she calls him a douche, wannabe pimp or just a harasser who tries to see what she is doing with her clients. I’m thinking what the hell is She Devil mixing up. Looking back I should have said see you next week I’ll call you and never come back. I did do one thing in my defence I pretended I was scared of him. I enjoyed this game strangely because it made feel like a decent, respectable gentleman who knows nothing about nothing.
The next mistake I made is talking about going down south. I love to go down on a woman I get paid for that. I spoke proudly of the time, four women ganged raped me with a toy gun or real gun. Never bring up these conversations no matter how super cool R-rated it makes you feel. Her response my boyfriend is such a dick he knows I give the best blow job he’s here to check on me. I might have to give him a good dick suck to get him out of here. Oh, shit why I pick that story. She-Devil has placed me into the category of buying me a drink [sleazeball]. So she talks to her boyfriend, and I have no chance for booty in the VIP room. I’ll never write about how to get poontang [swag] or home run from most women working a bar. It’s dangerous, and that knowledge is gold give me the money honey upfront, and I’ll lay out a map.
I’m back from vacation. The afternoon I get a phone call, She-devil dumped boyfriend. A week later I’m going to pick her up with gifts of lingerie drop her into work. I’ll add some semi-pro sweet sauce on that gift. I placed candies in every Victoria secret panties and showered the boxes with candy. I try to wangle my way into her sweet spot saying I hope you like my gifts I can pick you up if you want. I get her address no I got her street or maybe the road from around corner she lives. The phone conversation. Me! Where do you live? Love interest/She-Devil! 3095 Melrose Park Drive. I’m driving down her street, and I see a sexy girl who could be her friend casually waiting for me to look while she on her phone. I’m squinting my eyes like Black James Dean. I turn the radio to the song Megatron by Micky Minaj.
Oh yeah, I nearly crashed the car at 15 miles an hour the bitch is smoking hot. I should have known she phones me and says, where are you? My reply is just passing the plaza which would have given her ample time to send the bait to walk the streets. I get to address pull in driveway and phone. I’ll be out in ten minutes. I’m getting worried it’s going on twenty-five minutes. I get a call about what colour is your car. I’m pissed shocked baffled my reply I’m in your driveway. No your not in my driveway. I don’t know whose house that you’re parked. I pull out driveway see her walking towards me. She gets into the car and forty minutes later we at work.
Enter Pussy Galore!
We have a good time at the bar. She puts on her outfit and brings over the sweet bait — I call her pussy Galore aka she-devil number 2. I’m stoned I’m drooling at both casual cats eyes. I get caught by She-Devil 1. Does She-Devil say whose outfit do you like the best? Oh yeah! The correct answer is both in the real world, but in the world of She-Devil 1 and 2, you should pick mine all the time. She pissed I can see this I’m a reader with a third eye-popping.
I’m giggling, I’m not so dumb. Pussy Galore/ she-devil 2 pulls out the phone, pulling out various lingeries on the screen. I like teddies and any Slutty Victorian dresses. I imagine She-Devil 1 and her friend dressed in these Victorian lingerie gun in hand screaming lick me bitch lick me. Her friend and I are checking out these dresses her girlfriend I call her Pussy Galore says to me I like this style. My head glued into her phone and sinful thoughts come to mind. She is showing some crotchless panties She-Devil 1 insecurity kicks into level eight. She is like snap out of it stop looking at her phone. She-Devil 1 seems so sexy when she gets mad.
I’m not bored anymore; I’m in my happy place. All of a sudden, I feel a third eye kicking in. I’m able to read their thoughts. Most people don’t realize they have the third eye; they just quit drinking or smoking, believing its a buzz. It’s funny to me though some of the spirits are saying give her friends leg a squeeze she a wicked bitch. I’m confused I mean which one? She-Devil number one and She-Devil number two is closest to me turn to look at me. I’m trying not to laugh because when your third eye trying to get out one of the spirits/demon/angels is saying squeeze her pussy. I mean which one? She-Devil number one says what you say. I change the subject to a beautiful song. The third eye is the strangest thing your buzzed, then your sober, you get sleepy, drunk, and your head starts to grow. You’re saying this is not going to happen. I hear a voice saying remember when you passed out smashed your head. Grab her pussy now, or we’ll knock you out again, bitch. I’m 100% sober yet still very high. Maybe I’m really stoned.
She-Devil number two as dark hair, she rubs up beside me. Not too close but close enough to give me the sign that the stripper you brought to the bar is a fucking monster who likes to manipulate and bend and twist her men into a whipped state. If she doesn’t get her away, she going to pull an attack in the girls change room. Come back out place you in cuckold in permanent cuckold status for the rest of your life. I’m not a monster, but I can bawl. Bawling, to me, is not crying. I get jealous vengeful. I hear a voice saying let the bitch go. It’s a strange voice. I say to myself you be crazy to explain this buzz and thoughts.
War! Not your cuckold. Flip to B-side.
She-Devil 1 takes off does the rounds. She-Devil is flirting with a guy named Jim. My third-eye from psychic heaven is on overdrive. I hear this voice what the fuck we doing here Courtney? Supernatural beings are saying that fucking girl is a witch who eats men’s hearts and tries to send their soul to the oblivion. I’m freaking out maybe its heroin mixed with absinthe. The next thing you know I’m on stage need to get to high, some hot rock song comes on. I’m on stage twenty dollar bill in my mouth. The dancer on stage gives me a good show, and my ex says, or she-devil number one says. I’m surprised. I get back to the bar and everyone giving me money to go back on stage and she got pissed. She-Devil 1 is like what was that?
I’m stoned She-Devil as placed me to douche status. Super sexy she-devil number 2 doesn’t realize I’m reading her mind. She is saying this guy is hot but weird. She-Devil 1 number one is saying I need some advice on how to fuck this black bitch up. I felt like saying you don’t need help just do what you do. Go away, leave me alone. She-Devil 1 in her head, says your fucking boring I’m out. So I’m down to fighting for driver position or friend. In reality, I’m neither a cuckold.
I’m silent but fucking angry. I pull out my pendulum a cross of Jesus a cross I have outlined with north, south-east and west along with holy water in every direction to warn me of any danger such as herpes, warts or a woman who smells awful yet beautiful and you get her to dance. If the game of love and sex is a football game, the score would be She Devil 21-7. The score is now 28-7. We are outside. Her other friends are talking what wrong with her, and she comes back gives me her cell phone. We go back in I’ve given up she got one of her clients she turned into a driver every time I look over the bitch turns him into a sex trick. My third eye says do you really want to watch she-devil one turn you into a cuckold. She-Devil 1 looks over I’m welcome to attend just watch me giving me this evil look nobody at the table sees. The third eye opens up and says fuck her look around. She’s just a bitch. I flee the scene.
The score is 28-14, I go outside meet one of her enemies another stripper who says I liked your African shirt. Me! Yes, I have it in the car you can have it. I get her the shirt even though she-devil 1 told me not to give her anything and not to talk to her. I go inside and sit back down she looking with this accusing look. I look away because when that third eye opens, you feel everything. Siresh yells at her to come to sit with us. I figure its best I go outside give her a chance to think about turning me lose. If I were a female, I would be the female if I see my guy grinding up some other girl. I would be like you have one secound to stop. I’m a guy, and I would grab the first woman who gives me a slutty look, and I’ll make out and fuck her right next to my ex. She is now placed into the category of who the f£$%K are you.
Fourth Quarter 10 minutes 35-21 I score a TD for those thoughts.
I’m talking to a person outside I know for a long time. She takes me over to her girlfriends birthday party for some cake. I’m high as a kite with conflicting emotions. I am feeling sad lonely; I need someone. This is not happening. I get back to our table she gone for a smoke and her enemy sits down with me. My third eye screams out your so fucked up look over at the birthday party. She is staring at me not necessary for money; she likes something our eyes casually meet. Oh, shit, She-Devil 2 I head out back outside and return to birthday section where we are dancing, and the THIRD EYE flips a lid and updates the scores 35-28. Take this bitch for lap dance fuck her brains out. Fuck her on the floor, the roof, the road, the grass, the backyard. Bring She-Devil 1 to have a good look. My back pain is kicking in my back MRI tomorrow. We are heading to lap dance section the first booth bright and hear these voices saying sneak behind the little bitch and her new man. Go fuck her in the VIP! I’m like, OK! This is sweet revenge; it makes me feel beautiful. She-devil number 2 says what? Anyone with psychic or emphatic power will tell you no matter how fucked up the situation consider doing what the spirit says. However, does not resort to talking to your guardian angel in a strip club or anywhere in public.
38-28
I decide to walk on her left so she would see me at the last minute or not. If I walk to the right, she’ll grab my hand and say what the fuck are you doing. It’s over get some dances to get her out of my head and dreams. Any relationship with this blonde beauty is over. I feel pain; nonetheless, people can go separate ways and remain friends. I take her friend to VIP and come out a half-hour later the score is 38-35. The last thing I hear is one of the voices heading towards the ghost in the machine. It’s quiet, and I sit down to take in everything and people around. She-Devil 2 invites me to the other side for a drink and conversation. Let’s not get into how the dances were maybe some. I opt-out because I get excited when I see the woman whom you interested angry and confused. I head back to the table with my group. One of the guys won’t mention name says did you fuck her, yeah you did her. I smile because of She-Devil 1 is approaching from out of nowhere all anger, smiles frustration.
38-38
She-Devil is now placed into my bitchy worst nightmare friend at this club. I’ll remember the look for the rest of my life. I compared the look to your grandmother and priest catching you and some random girl playing show me mine I show you yours. She-devil says what the hell you think you’re doing to me. My third eye says just give her stoned looked like you were taken advantage of. I see her in a different light, not monster, only a spoil 3-year-old. You would be shocked that someone so beautiful, soft and demure could be so destructive. I imagine the thousands of men she destroyed. The millions of soul she sent to the abyss for eternity. Some of these women have the power to bend and mould a man into anything. She goes back to her new boyfriend. I’m feeling vindicated. One of the boy’s whispers did you bone her. I won’t talk; I just let him smell my fingers. He sniffs and replies with a high five.
We go outside, and I tell everyone I’m going home MRI in the morning she gives me her bags to hold and cell phone and says wait for her. She comes back out saying are you mad you seem mad at someone. I’m OK! She hugs me and says goodnight. I know I’m the driver. I also know I’m the mysterious one to her. My third eye is listening; she-devil number one is saying don’t go and fight for her. On a serious side, no matter how much I want her. She relegated to a best friend, and I’m the driver. I need some rest cannot miss this appointment. I met she-devil number 2 she tells me she single she got a hell of sweet-tasting cookie. I got her name and as Arnold says I’ll be back! I’ll be back.
My advice to people visiting gentlemen’s quarters go and have fun. Be respectful to people who work in these establishments. If your dating a dancer under no circumstances should you go to this club? If you need to pick her up after work, wait in the parking lot. It’s hard to find good friends and dancers are women placed in a vulnerable position. A client could follow them home or write or say nasty things about them. If a person chooses to sleep with you and you do the deed, that person is not a slut. If she’s a slut your a slut, I end this article in saying Strip bar and many clubs around town is an excellent place to have fun, eat some food, drink or get dances. I would not classify the club as a brothel.
However, there are opportunities to take a woman home. In the end, if she-devil 1 calls and needs a ride to work. I would drop her off if doing nothing. I have no animosity. If She-devil number 2 wants to chill, I’ll chill out — a final thought people who can converse with beings from another world through our third eye. We are people like yourself with a vision sometimes to see things others cannot see. She-devil number one you know who you are I hope you like my gifts. I had fun picking them out. I may never see you again, however, thank you for the two weeks of hanging. We had a beef and mind games blow up. After all, is said and done I wish you the best. I named this article people are people a title of a Depeche Mode song.
Anyone who was there that night and want to add to article ..I had to tame it down a bit for F.B. If we can a video to add to article very KOOL! Anyone want to add real names the antagonist of this script you want real name added just text me, ……….That said wasn’t that a party. I’ll be working out trying to lose another 20lbs to fit into my leather pants. As Arnold says I’ll be back……the antagonist you want to add your stage name text me anyone else want to put down their thoughts if you were at club that night ..KOOL …I decided not to put the club name on script, however, Mississauga as good clubs. I’m writing my story and article and protecting She Devil 1 and 2
Courtney D
Crystal Cave Chronicles 